Men's MCR team

Manager: Ben Coney

Assistanr Manager: Stuart Reid

Assistant Manager: TBC

The Men's MCR team plays (suprise suprise) in the University MCR league, an inter-college league for post-grad students. The league takes place on Saturday mornings (10.30 K.O.)

Match reports

Mansfield Road MCR 4 - 1 New College MCR, 8th October 2005

Report bt Stu Reid

This should have been our first competitive fixture of the season, but political turmoil off the pitch meant this would only count as a 'friendly'. The referee also failed to show, so Chris Bradley stepped in to adjudicate the 'bout'.

Round 1: Manny had most of the early pressure. The first goal came when Jon Brock received the ball inside the box on the right, feigned a shot then turned the ball onto his weaker left foot for a well placed strike into the right corner. Calls from Tarry of "Lets keep the next five minutes tight lads" were quickly silenced by a cheeky backheel flicked past one of our defenders (I forget who it was).

Round 2: Manny road then began to turn on the pressure with Nanu and Bobbins running the show in the middle allowing Brock and Raf on the wings to play some free flowing football. The strikers were well serviced by the midfield and both Bill and Krisz at full back provided excellent support to the attack. Matt the swede was frequently caught by the remote control off side trap but eventually managed to stay on to give Manny Road the lead at half-time.

Half time changes saw manager Coney moved out from centre back to the right wing and replaced by Brock who will not now be given another chance to score. Joe came on for Krisz at left back and the second half started with Manny Road well on top of the game.

Round 3: Phil, who had replaced Matt up front, was causing problems for their defence from the whistle. An injury to the ubiquitous Brock triggered a major reshuffle with Nanu dropping back to defence, Raf tucking in to the middle, Joe pushing up to left wing and Krisz coming back on (lucky it was only a friendly) at left back. Pressure turned to corners turned to goal when Nanu trotted up from the back to nod in a dangerous Bill Allen corner, 3-1.

New by now were deploying strong-arm tactics, but they lacked the subtlety or ingenuity to make it work to their advantage. Our attack having soaked up elbows and shirt pulls for the whole game decided enough was enough and started giving a bit back. They didn't like it up 'em and tempers frayed when Phil was stamped on after a solid challenge. Handbags were put aside for a while until Raf put in a slightly too solid challenge near their corner flag. This sparked excessive whingeing from one of the opposition superstars. A transcript of the exchange between player and ref follows: Ref: "Shut up. I've given you the free kick. You're lucky I haven't reversed it." Player: "Well f***ing reverse it then, you C***." Ref: "Off" [Dislaimer: That is not entirely factual]

Round 4: Down to ten men the game was pretty much over for New but their fate was sealed when Bobbins played a defence splitting pass to Jonny Pound who casually lofted the ball over the keeper.

Well done lads. We should have proper fixtures through for next week. Let's carry on with this winning streak.

Kit washed by Bobbins

Brasenose 4 - Manny Rd MCR 3, 1st October 2005

Report by Ben and Stu

Judging by the previous weeks' report this was a slightly below par performance from the Manny Rd MCR (rather like this match report). In the end we lost 3-4, but there were plenty of scoring chaces and some good patches of play. We can always blame our stand-in Balliol players for the loss. Two cracking individual strikes from Bobbins and a sweet cross from Krisz for 'the manager' to nod in, meant we definitely scored the better goals. So there.

Mansfield Road MCR vs Osler Green, Cutteslowe Park, Sat 17th September, 1000.

Report by Nanu Grewal (brace yourself...)

Nuffield MCR 0 MRFC MCR 2

It was such a totally surreal experience, 15 minutes into the match, to see MCR teamates passing, tackling, crossing and scoring, that I honestly thought I had grated too much nutmeg on my morning porridge. But then the ref turned into Jimi Hendrix before my eyes and Hermione off Harry Potter was flying down on a broomstick and'oh, no ' it was ALL a dream.

But seriously, folks.....

It was the most accomplished performance given by the MCR team I have ever seen. On a beautiful, beautiful sunny day, everyone turned up, the groundsman opened the change rooms on time and no one nicked our stuff from them. Manager Ben had emailed the team to me: Mike in goal, Bill, Bruno, Stewart and Kris in defence, Jon B, Nanu, Bobbins John and Jo in the middle, Raf and Mattius up front. The passing was unbelieveably slick to begin with. We were making a monkey out of a team that beat us soundly last year. A sweet midfield pass from John H put Mattius in the clear down the right and his finish was lethal.

Cheers to new boy Gordon who stood in for an absent Nuffield player ' when he turned up, they wanted Gordon to stay put.

Waves of pressure came from either flank with Bill and Jon especially good at linking on the right. A sequence of several corners led to the second goal. Stewart volleyed in from close range.

Those who know me from previous managerial campaigns, will recall that my favourite item of anal retention is ball retention from the throw-in (my short monograph on the subject is available from academic bookshops). It worked a treat ' first time ever.

A mention about Stewart and Bruno at centre half ' solid quality throughout. Hands off Reserves/Firsts ! Another special mention to a stunning goal-saving tackle by Kris, keeping the boy Mike nicely under-employed.

Second-half: they kicked off and we nearly had the ball in the net after 15 seconds. John H robbed the ball at half-way, Nanu turned and laid on for Jon Brock who pummelled in a cracking shot which was equally well saved. John H hit the bar with a long-ranger. Bent came within a white Nowegian whisker of putting in two or three. Mike T kept his first ever clean sheet for Mansfield Road - omens don't come much better.

Cycling home in the warm September sunshine, with a gentle breeze wafting through the village I felt a tune chiming along in my head. Something from Beethoven ? Pastoral Symphony, perhaps ? Close, but it was actually a song by my old mate Ice Cube, LA gangster rapper of some repute - 'It Was A Good Day' (Check out http://www.lyricsdownload.com/ice-cube-it-was-a-good-day-lyrics.html And please do not forward this link, in my name, to the woman's section or anyone girl called Kim -line 14) about how he woke up one day and he wasn't shot at, or macheted or given HIV by his bitch. So I phoned him when I got home and he said he wanted to get a scholarship to Oxford and try and break into the Reserve team and I said I didn't know which might be harder for him.

Anyway, he hit me with this rap, summing up my good day:

" Aint no sucker gave me a hospital pass Nobody tried to kick a ball up my ass There aint been no half-time bitchin' No cuts on my head need stichin'

I can't believe, today was a good day

Someone called for a ball today And he wasn't standing 40 yards away Some mother called me up and it really was my mother Match fees paid in full :no fuss, no bother It never pissed down with rain Can it all ever happen again.

Today was a good day "

So, put THAT to some music, Moby, and try and flog it to Volvo.

Mansfield Road MCR vs Osler Green, Cutteslowe Park, Sat 3rd September, 1000.

Report by Ben Coney

After a long summer break of beer, barbeques and cricket, the Mansfield Road MCR team, or "POSTDOC COLLEGE" as we remain in the arbitrary mind of Stan, made their return to the pitch. A healthy looking squad (in terms of numbers at least), bolstered with a few new signings, began the traditional pre-season losing streak by going 1-3 down to a very strong and well-organized Osler team.

It took us most of the first half to wake up, and were lucky to be only 1-0 down at half-time after a well placed shot from outside the area beat the outstretched hand of Tarry with a bit of assistance from an incoveniently placed bobble. Passes were hard to come by and possesion difficult to retain. Last year's captain, little Stu, was replaced by Bill at right back early on due to a twisted ankle but did an excellent job of collecting money at the end of the match.

We came out for the second half with some fresh legs and a positive outlook. Justin replaced Krisztian on the left wing, Chrisophe replaced Bent up front, Okten replaced Brock on the right and new Stu replaced Dave at centreback, who was then temporarily brought back on for "assistant-to-the-manager" Stu Reid (who made an explosive diversionary run(s) wide on the left). A penalty was conceeded early on by Coney (uncontested) which was well saved by Tarry and subsequently cleared. Two soft goals followed from balls over the top; one from lazy defending, the other from a blocked clearance from our keeper.

One positive from the game is that we finished strongly, with our best chances coming late on. Our goal came from a corner, which was perfectly delivered by El Presidente to the foot of new Stu, who tucked it away neatly. We looked like scoring again but failed to convert chances into goals. Not a disaterous start to the season as they were a well organized side. We'll be looking to improve before we meet them again in the league.

Good debuts from Bruno at left back and Matt the Swede up front. French swearing provided by Christophe, Scottish by Okten. Laundry by Raf.

Brasenose MCR 1 - MRFC MCR 2 (friendly), 12th March 2005

Report by Ben Coney

Well played everyone in the friendly game on Saturday. Top defending from Stu and Andy. Phil was full of running in the midfield. Raf and Christophe kept the Brasenose defence busy. Rob and Jake did their stuff on the wings.

Great strikes from Jake and Raf secured the pretend points for Manny Rd. 3-1 would have been a fairer picture of our overall performance. Shame my free kick just clipped the bar...

Top marks to Bruce and Andy's mate for playing for a 9 man opposition.